I Would Not Like Them Here or There - I Would Not Like Them Anywhere!

Dr. Seuss Day and Reluctant Readers

Guys! I was so excited when I read this article by Philip Nel, author of Dr. Seuss: American Icon (2004), that I sat right down and scribbled out this poem. Happy Dr. Seuss Day!

Read Across America

Every year, on the school day nearest his actual birthday, our nation observes Read Across America, an annual event inaugurated by the National Education Association in 1998.

It just so happens that today, another homeschooling mom asked for advice about her five-year-old, who flat out refuses even to consider learning to read. "He's so bad he won't even look to see if two words match!" she lamented. 

In honor of the man who inspired countless lifelong learning journeys (say that ten times fast!), I thought I'd share with you what I shared with her.

My Reluctant Reader

My eldest is 7 now. We've been intentionally educating him at home from Day 1, though I'm not sure "homeschooling" is technically the correct term. He is brilliant and headstrong, and he loves to learn, though he has always resisted being taught. If you asked him, he would swear he's never learned anything in his life - and then proceed to educate you on whatever passion has seized him most recently. Reading has been a particularly touchy subject.

A Literary Lineage

The boy comes from a long line of readers, so when he was born, I looked with great anticipation toward a future full of afternoon read-alouds and bountiful bedtime stories. Who knows? Perhaps this future still awaits, but a lot will have to change for me to see it. Very early on, his independent spirit reared its *ahem* objectionable head. Whenever I tried to read to him - books I'd cherished in my childhood, mind you! - he endangered the integrity of each page by grabbing for it, wrinkling and ripping, attempting to turn it before all the words had been read aloud. I didn't know what to do! I knew it was precisely of his great hunger for information that he was doing it, but I couldn't put my frie-- er, um, books in that position! For a long time, I just... gave up. I read him the occasional bathtime book, but if the pages were made out of paper? Fuggedaboudit!

My Best Efforts

I did everything I could to help him acquire the information I knew he would need when reading eventually interested him. I taught him the alphabet with songs we learned on YouTube. We watched Super Why! together, and after his brothers were born, he watched WordGirl on his own while I tended to them. I showed him movies based on books, in case nostalgia would interest him in the written version later on. I got him familiar with the elements of story in several ways; my favorite was this LeapFrog video: LeapFrog Letter Factory Adventures: Amazing Word Explorers.  I downloaded all the Endless Learning Apps by Originator, and a couple of other ones, which I will mention below.

Unschooling

Of course, all of this was before he turned five. Once he did, we started "homeschooling in earnest" - or, at least, we expected to. It turns out he still hadn't realized the connection between the joy of learning and the sacrifices we were making to help him learn (i.e. teach him)! And that independent spirit, coupled with the needs of his brothers, meant that out of necessity rather than principle, we ended up opting for interest-led learning in his school experience. We spent the first three months of his kindergarten year near my family, so I worked on the other subjects with him, and then I tended to the other children while my mother, a teacher, played The Phonics Game with him. Then we moved out of state, and around that time were lucky enough to download the app Teach Your Monster to Read when Usborne was offering it for free. I attempted to work with him using a book that comes highly recommended by people I love and respect (Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons), but his independent spirit wasn't having any of it. 

We inherited these book sets, and now they are nearly impossible to find,
although it does appear that National Geographic has replaced them with newer collections.

Fast forward to this, his first grade year, and I've promised him I "won't teach him any reading," on the condition that by the end of the school year he will have read to me each of the 24 books in his National Geographic Kids book sets. I made this concession when the school year approached because when I (surreptitiously) tested his reading level, I was blown away with what a kid who so staunchly refused to be taught to read could actually read on his own! The books in these sets are numbered, and each is more difficult than the last. He is over halfway through the Phonics set, and can easily handle what they throw at him, but when he chafes under the restrictions of numerical order, it is clear he is not ready for the books at the bottom of the stack. I think, if we stick with it, he will meet our goal by the end of the year.

My Advice

Because my kid so thoroughly surprises me with what he's learned during this "interest-led education" experiment, I figured I'd share with my frustrated friend the seven things I wish I'd heard when I headed into this with such a heavy heart.

First: remember you have time

"Most children learn to read by 6 or 7 years of age. Some children learn at 4 or 5 years of age. Even if a child has a head start, she may not stay ahead once school starts. The other students most likely will catch up during the second or third grade. Pushing your child to read before she is ready can get in the way of your child's interest in learning. Children who really enjoy learning are more likely to do well in school. This love of learning cannot be forced."                                                                                                                          - healthychildren.org

Second: consider he might have issues that will come to light and serve as explanation for your current struggle in the future

It could be as mild as perfectionism; it could be a serious special needs case. Either way, if he's resisting this strongly, it's probably worth watching and waiting to uncover the truth.

Third: give him a sense of control 

One of the things my kid loved to do was rearrange letter magnets on the fridge and force me to sound the nonsense out phonetically - especially when it stretched the width of the door!

We bought the letter and number boards from the dollar spot at Target,
but it quickly became apparent that the magnets would see much more use
if the fridge door were to be their home.

Fourth: set an example 

Let him see you playing word games for your own enjoyment. My kid monopolized my Wordscapes account once he realized how much fun I was having. The early levels were easy enough that I could challenge him to create a word at a time till the puzzle was solved. When they got more challenging, he'd do the same thing as in the third point above: arrange the letters as he wished and laugh as I pronounced the nonsense. Gradually, he got more and more capable. His interest in the game initially piqued by accident; I hate making decisions and he loves it, so I offered him the delight of choosing my daily sign-in bonus! Pretty soon, when he heard the app start up, he'd come running for the chance to be involved.

Fifth: seize the teachable moment

For whatever reason, my son is infinitely more teachable during the short period just before bed. I think he benefits as a person from our power struggles earlier in the day, but he certainly grows more academically if I wait till the opportune moment.

Sixth: if you can get him to play it, Teach Your Monster to Read is an excellent electronic aid

When I first found out my unschooled son could read way better than I expected (deserved, even!), I was stumped. "How did he learn to read?" my husband and I kept asking each other. Then he came to me with my phone and said, "Muey, I need you to unlock this so I can play Teach Your Monster to Read." Oh, right. He loves that game. It makes a lot more sense now!

Seventh: read

Read aloud to him. If the book rhymes (and Dr. Seuss is great for that!), pause before saying the word that completes the rhyme, and have him fill in the blank. If he guesses wrong, point to the word and sound it out. Start by yourself, but as time goes on, have him do it with you, and once he's used to that, give him a chance to do it on his own.

An integral part of my kids' homeschool experience is aggressive participation in every local summer reading program available. We go to the library and bring home stacks of books, reading as many as we can every day, logging them for each program as we go, and turning in the logs for all the prizes. It helps give them an authority/structure outside myself for whom/for which to perform. (For younger kids, a program that's available year-round, nationwide, is 1000 Books Before Kindergarten.)

And set the example. Let him see you read for pleasure on your own. Let him see you look up words you don't know and find answers to the questions your reading leads you to ask.

Your effort will pay off - or it won't

Either way, you did the best you could. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink... and if you don't lead him there, he can't drink at all. If you give your obstinate pupil the best tools you can, whether he uses them or not, you have to allow that you've done right by him. But, honestly, I think chances are slim that he won't at some point come to agree with Dr. Seuss:

"The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go!"

On a final note, for readers who are local and are looking to observe Read Across America with a month-long reading challenge, check the library website for details. 

...And just for giggles and fun, 

here's a photo of my own Thing One!

"Would you like to shake hands with Thing One and Thing Two?"